Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize