that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
