sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
