No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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