Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i think im in europe. pls send help
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
