So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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