you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
