i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
