I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
