dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
