are you still at the devil's house?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
