I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
