I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Randomize
