whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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