Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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