4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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