So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
