look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
