Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
