three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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