So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
