i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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