last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
