I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
