ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
