Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
