Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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