It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
