the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
