Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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