I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Barsexuality is the new black.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
