Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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