Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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