i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
