Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
