her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
