my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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