Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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