I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
