Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
