found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
