Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
