ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
