Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
