the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
