When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
