this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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