I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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