No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
