I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
