Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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