wanna go halves on a baby?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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