He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize