So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
