i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I understand Curling. That high.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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