That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
