he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
