i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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