when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
