His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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