You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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