she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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