wakey wakey hands off snakey
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
